Driving the Porcelain Bus
This has been my view for the past 24 hours. I managed to get the flu from Pin, as expected, which, although being short lived, makes up for its lack of longevity by being rather potent. I haven't worshipped the porcelain god so much for years. Every 10 minutes for a whole day. I have broken capillaries all over my face. I have lost a couple of kilos and the only medicine that I could keep down ....well, lets just say I kept it up as the other end wasn't suffering the same distress!
Feeling better now though, although I must say that demented fever dreams are not my favorite cognative endeavour. I really did see Kurt in the toilet bowl and he kept telling me I would never get my sound card back! So I voshed on him for his insolent behaviour. Then I ruthed on him but he laughed coz nothing was coming out. Then I just doubled over him in the foetal position with that look we all know and love accompanied by the dry-reach.
This would rank in my top 5 worst experiences ever along with New years eve in the backyard of some friend of Gate's house, post ear operation dizziness and the Bag 'shroom fiasco (two of which occurred in the same month). Vosh related events seem to take the cake in my List of Unfortunate Events. How about y'all?
posted by Dave Gee @ 11:14 pm
11 comments
11 Comments:
I always knew I was a god - even if only a vosh god. I look a bit like the ghost king from the caves of the dead in Lord of the Rings, you know, the bit when he appears in the crack. If it's any consolation Dave, I feel for you. I had that shit just before Christmas and it sucked big time. My stomach muscles copped lactic acid burn from excessive reach factor - very bad, very bad for my azma.
When I was a kid, I caught a bug that had me sitting on the toilet doing both operations at the same time while leaning over to the tub to throw up as well.
But the 3 times I've had the flu here do take the cake. No throwing up but had evil fever related body pains for a number of days in a row. It was quite debilatating.
I think the worst time I had driving the bus was after a party at the end of year 10,woke up the next morning and felt ok while laying still,and you know how you say to yourself 'ok i'll move my head slightly and that will determine how I really feel'.That's when you feel your brain bouncing around in your head and you know then you're fucked.So back to the story,had to take a dump on this particular morning and luckily no one was home.As i'm pushing out the dump,the use of my stomach muscles then forced upwards the vosh from last night hilarity.Not close enough to vosh in the basin,so do I scat on the floor or chuck in the basin?Can't do both,but somehow manage to strangle the darky for long enough to spew after which I lay on the floor for ten minutes praying to god to please kill me,I actuslly did want to die.God didn't kill me,and I did the same thing about three weeks later!
common
Bloody Boardman Bullshit. Poopy Peppermint Perscriptions. Gangrenous Green Growth. Operation Opium Oprah.
I was there that time and remember clearly the look of distress on Dodd's face and watched it melt away as the drugs moved up his vein. I also seem to have a memory of dog shit smell however every memory of that house had a dogshit odor attached. Probably because of all the dogshit all over the floor all the time.
I apologize if my post gave the impression I was criticizing the living standards of Doddom. I was merely commenting that as a result of copious amounts of unremoved dogshit baking in the sunshine very close to an open style living space, a permantent dogshit miasma permiated the house and as the brains memory centres are very close to the olifactory centres, my memories of the house, for good or ill, are all closely linked to DOGSHIT.
There was the Korean pissheads and dogshit.
Watching startrek the motion picture over and over and dogshit.
Dodd's appendix and dogshit.
Making tracks for my first live set and dogshit.
Sleeping in the same bed with Paulette and dogshit.
Reading 'How to be a complete Bastard' while taking a crap but not the memory of my own crap smell but dogshit.
Is this a gay site?
Yeah, I could see how conversations about appendixes and dogshit could lead you to believe that this is a gay site.
Fuckin moron.
In hind sight, that could have been Lamonde or someone just being funny. If so I apologize. If not; fuckin moron.
Friends please note, anonymous post will be subject to extreme prejudice. You can just use the 'other' button like Chris does. If you can't work that out, you lose!
I accidentally posted as anonymous, how ironic!!
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