A woeful tale of treachery and deceit

Business slump was just an ordinary mouse. A little smaller than most but not the smallest. A little chubbier but by no means overweight. He lived in a cardboard mouse complex with 7 other mice. Next door to him was his best friend Tiny. He often protected Tiny, who was really small, from the others who could sometimes be cruel and take out their anger on her. They were good friends. Neither of them got along with Big Mama, the biggest of the mice. She often berated and chastised them for being slovenly, especially Business Slump because he looked lethargic even if he wasn't.
Fortunately they had another friend named Military Mouse who was the toughest of the bunch. He protected them when The Rabbi, an insane rabbit, or Calli, the ever stalking cat came by. Everyone felt safe with Military mouse around. Even Big Mama didn't chew him out often, acknowledging somewhat begrudgingly, his importance to the troop.
Anyway, they all lived happily for many seasons until for some reason, they all decided to eat Business Slump. Now he wasn't the smallest, but he was easily the weakest so they consumed him, even little Tiny who just couldn't overcome her bloodlust.
This is a moot point however as the next week, they ate her too, munching up every morsel until there was nothing left but her little claws on the ground.
And thus began the succession of cannibalistic banquets until one day, there were only 2 mice left, the big, bad Big Mama and the tough, sinewy Military mouse. They eyed each other off for a while and decided to parle for a little. Military mouse had dealt with rabbits and cats before and wasn't about to let this bad tempered female have the better of him....but in fact that's what happened. She ate him the very next day.
THE END
I bought a new cell phone this week that allows you to record your own ring tone through the internal speaker be it your own voice or something from the internet. I will give a prize to anyone who can guess what I chose for my ring tone.

How extraordinary!

I didn't really think it was so special until, while waiting for a bus I was transported instantaneously to another plane of existence and it was then I realized that the sign spoke the truth.
Is that person sitting next to you on the train just very short or actually a dwarf? Sorry for the blatant plagiarism of other works but I found it amusing.
If a cheeseburger costs $1 and a double cheesburger costs $2.50, why not just buy 2 cheesburgers?
Pop Quiz: Who used to order 2 Quarter-pounders , 2 large fries and a large Coke? The same person used to then lick the sauce from the crown of the Quarter-pounders and then stuff them with the fries before consumption.
Who used to clean piss soaked pizza from urinals on New Year's Eve while the rest of us were revelling?
Have you seen the episode of Family guy (or is it Robot Chicken) where the father pigeon is teaching it's son the art of choosing choice locations to drop turds in parks. The final, best location happens to be down the end of a divers snorkel. I seem to remember being involved in a similar debarkle, only the baby bird was me, the nugget of crap was from our pet drub and the snorkel was being used by Dodd in a 44 gallon drum filled with water. Art imitating life? I wonder what did end up happening to those ferrets? I'm pretty sure they weren't squashed flat in a tragic ramp collapse in an overcrowded Guinea pig apartment as was Bronski Beat.
At one time we had many pet mice. They co-existed together peacefully for a while and then ate each other.
Dodd, do you recall the sequence of events in this morbid tale, the names involved and the order of being eaten or have you clensed your mind of such things to avoid scarring your psyche?

Hang on DACK!

Saw this on in a restaurant. Not quite Dack Dive Bomb but alarmingly similar. A rippoff perhaps. Both me and Spish on one T-shirt though. Uncanny!
Is it true what it says about the origins of dance music. A very informative piece of apparel.

If only...

If I rubbed a lamp and a genie came out and said I can have anything I want in the world I would probably choose...
1. A Bostik electric glue gun, because you never know when something might need adhering.
and
2. A Pfaff sewing machine, because any company with a name like that must make superlative products.

The end of an era

Well a sad day it will be in Tokyo when Mr and Mrs La Plonke leave for Oz this Thursday. Celebrations will abound in Melb as the prodigal harpic returns. Angst and misery will ensue when the carton of duty free fags is finished but will slowly subside and normality sets in. When you feel down and need a pick me up, just sing this old tune from the fear generation:





'Spring is sprung,
The grass is riz.
I wonder where Mike Bagshaw is.
They say the Bag is on the wing,
But that's absoid
The wing is on Ski droid.'

As I was sitting in the passenger seat of the rent-a-truckster, I spy an extra lighter socket to plug in electrical gear without impeding the existing lighter....
Yukon; Always something new!

Time for bed.