The ramblings of Gree: May 2006

Mum , dog and Danny Glover

Another picture of me moom and a requested choice glove. Ironically this one was found one morning outside of Maniac Gloce in Aoyama. Chris and Sarah can testify to that. It is from the anti-Michael Jackson. The pic of mum was when she could arm-curl 40 kilo dumbells without breaking a sweat. And the dog at whole pigs for breakfast.
Lisa has just gotten over the Pox and is back terrorizing the boys at play-school. She is also of the opinion that AMD make better CPUs than Intel. I have no desire to challenge her on this point. Kurt believes we forgot his birthday but I do have a piece of cardboard here with 'Happy birthday Kurt ' written on it in magic marker so he is mistaken. If he comes around he may get treated to a steak dinner at Kennedy's and to a premium steak at that.
Does Danny Glov'er? Is it even legal to do so?
Barry Bonds! Does James Bond?

Back passage

EDITed out for grossness
If you missed it, too bad.

Ok I warned you and here it is, Korpus colon.
I made it small so as not to gross too many of you out but according to Jamie it's much bigger in real life. Jamie says it's actually quite a snug fit. eeeew! Jamie was also quite angry with Korpus because when he finally saw this, he realized Kurt was already there, as you can see in the image. The doctor said Kurt was causing a bowel obstruction and that was what caused the pain. A course of parp metal ballards and Kurt left the system of his own accord.
This post may have to be removed in a few days so make sure you download the image and spread it across the internet for us. An attached picture of Randy's head so that people know who it is would also be helpful.
Next up, diaper shots and the removal of a cyst.
Stay tuned!

Korpus Colonic

Once again I am in possession of damning graphic evidence. I still don't have the diaper shot but a fantastic voyage down Randy's colon has been caught on film, so if you want to see it please post a request. Warning, It's not pretty. I think I saw Kurts head down there but it could have been a trick of the light.
On a less brown note, I was walking to the station this morning and what did I spy but this bike sitting next to the road. The bike was rude enough with those upturned handlebars that can only be described as anti-ergonomic. But low and behold if my eyes do not deceive me but is that a REV attached to the handlebars? I remember the ads when I was a kid but to see one around today and on what is clearly a late teen, early twenty year olds bike is something else. It's probably worth quite a lot now. I remember the sound was really crap but if you were 5 years old you really could feel like you were on a Harley.

One Wonders

Here's a picture of maaa moom. Maa mooms black pood'ns are soo black, even the white bits are black. In one of her more introspective moods. I can even hear what she's a ponderin':
1. If Dodd was 100 metres tall, he would be the tallest guy called Dodd in the world.
2. Marcell Marceau would never have bumped his nose into a post while doing the invisible wall trick but then he never did it with a dishglove on his head.
3. Heavens to Betsy, come in Betsy.
4. Pity the pot for he knows not what he does. Pitster briefs were a cruel and unwarranted experiment in doggy apparel.
5. If my favourite song is 'Tainted Glove' by Softcell does it indicate a lack of hygene whilst cleaning up doggy poo with kitchen equipment? And if not, why not?!
6. What about a water bottle Wibble/ A hot water bottle and a bottle of olives.
7. Does Ken really have big hands and is he responsible for opening the DIY store in Japan called Tokyu Hands?
8. Blackburn,Chomley Street, Frankston (and 3 hour lunch breaks with Neil), Wheelers Hill International , Chadcolm, John Fontanella, Ian Brophy, Ken Hands, Dudson, Rosy, Commodore, Renault, Exa, Celica, Down under rock cafe, Left front door not shut,Robin robins etc,etc.

And if that isn't enough to make you resort to pilates (of the carribean), I don't know what is.
This post reminds me of a comment my history teacher once said after intercepting a page of musing I wrote in class when I should have been concentrating:
'Drivel Gee!'

You are all Sinners!

While on the subject of old long haired images, I came upon this one. I would put mine up too but the photo album is behind a huge wall of teetering junk in 'the black hole' meaning the closet where all our kipple goes. You all have one so don't try to deny it. I mean the black hole, not the long haired photo. Although I would like to get one from The Shirk, Nik and Ritchie as well as my own just to stand as a monument with the caption 'Rolly Roady Ray do day'.
I put this up as a penalty to Nigel for being tardy in his repayment of money spent on his behalf. Nige , If I don't get the money soon, the gimp suit photos come out!
I had to crop the image because my head is even ruder than Nigels. I guess I could say I have improved with age. Although thanks to Randy and too much partying my mystery pain has come back to haunt me. That information comes to you on behalf of Chris who so loves to hear about my maladies. I could tell you about the cream and whether it cleared up the 'problem' but I'm sure you don't want to hear about that.;) On the subject of evil, unnecessary photos that we can't help but look at, I have in my possession the images of Jamies cyst being removed but I dont have the diaper shot which Randy has along with images of his own colon from the inside. We can get these if Randy pulls his finger out.(I couldn't resist the pun) . Anyone else who has evil photos please endulge us.

OK You asked for it!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I guess the warm weather means he didn't feel the draft but I'm inclined to think he just wanted to show off his dude. I may remove this after a few days as it grosses me out somewhat. Not that we all haven't been subjected to Jamies pylon from time to time. It was his sugestion to put it up here, as you might expect.

EDIT: Due to too many phone calls from young Japanese girls wanting Jamie's number I have had to censor the original willy image. It's too bad Lamonde. They were ever so sad to hear you are no longer here to pleasure them. And as a penalty for making us look at the anteater, an earlier Jamie head in the J. Farnham days.

Official Pole

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have in my possession a very rude picture of Jamie (and I don't mean the famous illusive Diaper shot). It is of him in Thailand at his sisters wedding and unbeknowns to him his dude is hanging out and touching the marriage certificate. I shit you not. Anyone who would like me to post this image, please comment. I realize that such a thing could be repugnant for some and that is why I am fielding opinions first. Anyone who would like the image sent directy for personal comparison may also apply.

Warning: The anteater is is full view.

Oh and the title is not a spelling mistake.

Chopper Pin

A couple of images of the Pin for your perusal. The first is Chopper Pin (Don't hurt the Chop!) with water ring and attached yellow pants for that superhero look. Pin is not amused by my mirth. The second, a standard princess shot from the vast supply of such images.
I dropped the butter tub tonight and predictably it fell butter down. I went to the train station and the train was just leaving. If these things did not happen, something would feel wrong. There must be an alternate universe somewhere where the butter always falls openning up. Chances are in that universe butter is used to clean the floor.
For all those who were missing my anatomical maladies, after a night out on the town my side pain is back. That's karmic. Too much fun makes Dave a pain in the side.
Who was the former tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs? Feel like watching that one again. Catholic high school girls in trouble. Nightex PM or is that Gatex PM?
What's wrong with the borries? They must be in a torper.
Rami Skin Grafti. He called me a pothead once. I was offended because I did at the time think my head exhibited aspects of pot.
Dictionary definition:
Pothead: (noun singular) (1)A person whose head shape resembles a pot. (2)One whose cranium exhibits pot-like tendancies (3) A person with a large jaw and small skull eg Freddy Mercury or the guy from Tango and Cash. (4) Someone with pot-oid head qualities.(5) A head like a conic section. EG Look at that dude over there. He's got a real pothead!
Guy Nanties wet his panties. That one was invented by mum for Dodd to use at primary school against a guy who was annoying him. Did it work? Can't remember. Dodd probably doesn't either.
Glen Ridge...Ben Fidge
Dub Dub Dub
Sorry just rambling. Bye for now.

Golden Week at the Zoo

Ahh, you have to love Golden Week in Japan. A week of holidays without the huge crowds around Tokyo coz everyone goes back to their hometowns...unless you are stupid enough to try going to the country to do anything amusing. Like going to a country zoo famous for it's Australian animals; koalas, kangaroos wombats what-have-you. So that was my day. After getting up at 7 to catch the train to Lisa's Grandma's place to change to the car, we found ourselves on the open road travelling at..eh..5 kmph...for the entire trip to the country zoo. Arriving at 1 pm we were confronted by a long line of cars trying to enter the pitifully inadequate car park so were forced to use the makeshift ones which were empty fields sprayed with white parking lines by the locals who charged 10 bucks to get bogged down in them. Old granny's abounded with their aprons and scraps of cardboard with 700 yen scrawled in texta across them. Wallets a little lighter, we proceeded to bush-bash our way back to the road and the zoo.
Ok, it was a beautiful day and the zoo was big enough to accommodate the large holiday influx so I can't winge too much. We brought a picnic and found a nice tree to sit under but Lisa only had eyes for the crappy kiosk with cheap faded plastic toys and the smell of old hot dogs.
So after lunch we decide to look at the Koala enclosure, promised to be a whollistic sensory experience of Australia. We were then presented with the 200 meter long 'line#1' of people waiting to enter.(see picture). You can imagine me waiting over an hour to see some Aussie fauna can't you? Remembering that the native animals section is the ENTRY LEVEL section at the Melbourne zoo.
OK, skip the Aussie animals, lets check out the 'cows-you-can-milk' and the 'various small animals-you-can-hold'. Oh no, we have to wait until 3.30 for those as they are done in shifts. We wait. Then we go up the hill to see the CYCM's and are presented with 'line #2', many kids waiting to grab a teet. We wait, we grab teet and proceed to 'line #3' which was cryptically spiral as it writhed about the assigned VSAYCH sector. Pushing our way through we secure a chick for Lisa (her favourites) and watch her enjoy squeezing it of it's vital essence. If only she could have seen a game of 'chick golf' as played by one Ben Gee.
Anyway, after that and a few trips to the famous Japanese open urinals, meaning they have a direct line of sight to the most crowded thoroughfare (Stage fright never felt so awkward) I proceeded to go over the photos I had taken for the day and realised most of them were of the rediculous crowds for the most mundane activities it has ever been my pleasure to witness. Have a nice golden week everyone.